Big Brother 8 - Episode 5 (” ‘I’ Candy “)

Previously on Eenie Meenie Miney Go: Carol got booted by a vote of Practically Everybody to Practically Nobody, and just about everyone voting wishes they had the option of voting out Jen instead. Among other things, Jen had actually cried over the picture of her on the wall, and when you’ve thrown maybe the stupidest hissyfit in the history of this particular show, it’s time to step onto an ice floe, because come on. Rather poetically, and arguably as a direct result of being totally unable to answer a question the way it would normally be answered and thus inadvertently giving a trick answer to a trick question, Jen became HoH. Imagine how we’d all feel right now if the presidency went to a nationwide lottery and Dick Cheney took it home. It was like that, kind of. Meanwhile, Eric was still America’s Player, and not in the P. Diddy kind of way, either. I sort of wish the credits were just an endless scroll of that picture of Jen that she hates. Maybe with the “peanut butter jelly time” song.

Jessica talks about how sad it was to see Carol go, at which point Miss Alli’s Sister wonders aloud, “Is that her real voice?” The news that it is her real voice is greeted with sadness. The rest of the houseguests all discuss how they’re sad about Carol leaving. Or “sad,” I guess, in that they don’t really care, but they didn’t bear her much ill will, except for Jessica, who thinks she’s scored a victory of some kind. Amber thinks that God put her on the chopping block. (God: “Oh my Me, like I care.”) Evil Dick trusts Amber, so he’s glad she wasn’t booted. He does his best to keep his adoration of Amber from appearing skeevy. He is not entirely successful. We do learn that Jen was the one vote that Carol managed to get, which is nicely in tune with the running theme that Jen is entirely out of sync with the rest of the house that you half-expect to see her wearing her shoes on her hands and a scrunchie around her ankles. When Jen confesses her vote to Amber, Amber tries to be generous, which she kind of can afford to do, since she got the other ten votes in her favor.

Joe is wearing just a tie — I’m saying just a tie and no shirt — as he agrees in the DR with everyone else about the fact that having Jen be HoH was not a good development for anyone. Someone needs to tell Joe that you have to have a certain sort of chest to intentionally draw attention to it with a shirtless tie, and Joe does not have that certain sort of chest. Joe needs to be working toward “attractively wiry,” and he needs to stop thinking he looks like a male model. Anyway, Kail was apparently really happy about Jen’s HoH-ness, probably because she thinks she’s the only person who has any kind of positive connection to Jen, which just may be true. Joe and his naked tie diss Jen’s victory by saying, “I am sick of people being rewarded for stupidity in this country.” On the one hand, I feel him, but on the other hand, it’s kind of like going on Wheel Of Fortune and complaining about the fact that everyone cares so much about vowels. Don’t choose a country for your vacation and then complain about the currency. Evil Dick is wearing a Cathouse shirt as he assures us that he thinks he’s going to do okay with Jen. I wonder if that’s Cathouse the show (which I have of course never seen), or just a general salute to the brothel industry. Daniele thinks she’ll be nominated for the sin of being Nick’s favorite girl. Haters are jus’ jellus! Woooo! Katharine McPhee 4-EVA! Daniele claims that she doesn’t like “catty girl games,” but she knows that Jen does. Amber, for her part, is still worried about taking a second consecutive trip to the block. Evil Dick does a kind of an Evil Doctor Will thing as he insists that it would be stupid for Jen not to nominate him, on account of he’s so awesome. You are no Will, Dick.

In tonight’s most wonderful segment by a very long longshot, a winking segment about Jen’s tendency to discuss herself includes a bell-dinging drinking game played by Mike, Zach, and Dustin every time Jen uses the word says “I.” That’s going to be a lot of drinking. They actually do this right in front of her, which is pretty cool and pretty funny, even though it’s the kind of thing you hope never happens to you, and it would be mean if directed at someone who was not begging for it with a series of self-saluting novelty tank tops OH MY GOD. The boys quickly realize that they’re all going to wind up passed out drunk if they keep drawing Jen into conversation and drinking at every “I.” As has always been the case with this show, it’s never better than when it’s slyly knowing about its players, and this segment was a great example. It also casts the boys involved in a very positive light, and it begins to reveal a core of non-suck that surrounds these particular guys. Before you know it, you may find yourself liking them, which will cause you to be invested, which will mean you are lost forever.

I must not have been paying enough attention to previous shots of the HoH room, because I wasn’t really thinking consciously about the prison-cell décor, which is slightly surprising, since this is supposed to be the room where you feel awesome about yourself. Jen once again goes into one of her picture-induced fits when she decides that there aren’t enough recent pictures and there aren’t enough good pictures. She actually is sitting around the room, surrounded by pictures of family and friends, and all she can do is complain. The one upside of this, really, is that she is such a moron that she’s having a sort of salutary effect on the rest of the house, in that at least they all have something to talk about that they agree on. I’ve seen quite a bit of this show, and I’ve seen individual cliques attack people, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a house converge in hatred upon one person with such consistency across the board. Jameka, for her part, can’t believe that Jen is whining about the picture of Jen and her mom, just because Jen thinks she doesn’t look good in it. I can’t wait until she has kids and is like, “I hate this picture of my baby’s first steps, because you can see my leg in the background, and those are not my favorite shoes. At all. I’m just really upset.”

Joe tries to maneuver to get Dustin put up. He really has no argument, though, and is stuck making a lame appeal to the “original eleven” thing, which makes no sense, since there’s no way she’s going to care about that. If she could find someone who didn’t hate her, she wouldn’t care if they were just shipped in here in a crate after being dug up in the Canadian Rockies. She knows everyone hates her, so she’s not going to act in solidarity with them. Jen tells us that she doesn’t trust Joe anyway.

A long segment on Nick and Mike’s weightlifting is once again surprisingly funny, thanks to commentary from Dustin and Zach. It’s very weird seeing people trying to be funny on purpose and actually being funny. I’m very much on the fence regarding Nick, who would need a smaller upper body in order for me to find him particularly attractive, but as I said, I think this is where you find the non-suck in this season.

Aaaaand showmance! Nick and Daniele are flirting, and the word “booger” is part of the deal, so that’s not particularly promising. Somebody forgot to give Nick the “don’t say ‘booger’” lesson. Nick teases Daniele repeatedly as they snuggle together that he’s going to give her something he’s hiding in his hand, and after an endless dance, it turns out to be something he calls “the key to [his] heart,” which is actually the key to his suitcase. Miss Alli’s Sister, totally on a roll, dubs the scene “Romance For People With IQs Under 50.” This assessment may be a little bit overly generous.

Kail tries to talk Jen into nominating Jessica. There’s not a lot of substance. It’s like watching blocks of cheese play checkers.

In the week’s first competition for food, all the women plus Joe go up against all the rest of the men. The game requires people to go head-to-head in a Name That Tune-style game in which you have to guess what two ingredients are in a pie. Losers eat slop. They will probably welcome it after some of these pies. Evil Dick vs. Jameka: Jameka gets a bacon and banana pie, which she successfully names. Amber inaccurate identifies pineapple and potato as lemon and potato. Eric gets sausage and apple, which he misses by calling it Spam and fig. Way to go, “America’s Player.” Jessica gets a hot dog and strawberry pie, which she calls Spam and pomegranate. Wrong! Zach gets pepperoni and mint — and he comes close with venison and mint. But not! Jessica gets carrot and cheese right. Evil gets sweet potato and licorice right. Amber can barely eat a salmon and blueberry pie, because it is enormously disgusting, but she correctly identifies it. Kail mistakes hamburger and peach for black bean and peach, so that’s wrong. It also upsettingly calls to mind Rachel’s famous English Trifle including the layer of Beef Sautéed With Peas And Onions. Nick correctly nails tuna and jelly beans. I realize that sound gross along multiple axes, and I apologize. Joe misses his next one, sending the blue team into the lead. Daniele is up for the girls/Joe team on the match point pie, and she guesses pickle and tofu, which is wrong. It was pickle and clams. That’s sort of sad that the pickle pie was so revolting that she couldn’t taste that it had fish in it. So the girls and Joe are on slop for the week. Daniele will now only get thinner. Dick is kind of sad for Daniele, but on the other hand, he’s undoubtedly happy to be eating. Blood is thicker than water, but it is not thicker than slop, after all.

Eric gets his information from the public, this time regarding who he should target for eviction. He doesn’t seem happy to see that we want him to target Jessica. I think he believes that we’re wasting his awesomeness. Eric sucks up to us for a while about how much he wants to do our bidding (I normally like that in a person), and he marches himself right up to the HoH room and starts to bend Jen’s ear about how he thinks Jessica is up to no good. He doesn’t come up with a particularly good ruse, in that he pretty much tells her, “I have no reason, but I just have this feeling you should nominate Jessica.” Unsurprisingly, Eric’s meritless arguments don’t even work on Jen. That’s sort of how you know they’re meritless.

Jen chats up Nick, who is incredibly noncommittal, and who tells her to do whatever she wants. “You’re a grown woman,” he says dismissively. He does not mean this. He should give her a key to his heart — I’ve heard that works pretty well. He’s probably got several. She essentially begs him to tell her he’s not with Daniele, and he doesn’t really want to say much. He insists that he has lots of buds, and she insists that it’s “hanging out” in the “HANGING OUT” sense. He insists in return that he’s not “having sexual intercourse” with Daniele, which is more explicit than I expected him to be. Jen tells him that she’s considering putting up the most “negative” people, and she says Nick is “negative” himself. She clearly expects him to beg her not to put him up, and she’s not really ready for the big “whatever” he unloads on her. I think Nick is pretty much of a meat sack so far, but I do like the fact that he has mastered the art of saying nothing and letting people drive themselves crazy instead of doing it for them.

Jen makes a big mistake when she walks in from a shower (it seems) and breaks up a perfectly nice rest session in one of the bedrooms, driving the men who are sleeping there from their beds, which seems to surprise her. That’s quite a room-clearing effect she’s got. Normally, that would require flatulence. She stays in the bedroom at first, and more talk in the kitchen follows about how self-involved Jen is, led this time by Evil Dick. Brimming with the affirmation of others, Evil Dick heads in to see Jen, telling her flat-out to stop being such a selfish bitch. He’s all plumped up with the agreement of the rest of the house, thinking he’s going to be everyone’s hero, but this is usually the kind of thing that does not pay off in the long term. You’ll notice that the Zach/Mike/Dustin group didn’t find it necessary to do any of this to Jen’s face, because they understand the fundamental unchangeability of a personality like that. Dick, on the other hand, goes for confrontation, ordering Jen to think of others and stop talking about herself, and he stalks off and leaves. Jen tries to look unconcerned, but she’s fooling no one, because nobody likes to be that person, no matter how cool they’re playing it.

Nominations approach, so of course, everyone is nervous. Nick sees himself as the target of various jealous bitches. Joe is both paranoid and obnoxious, so he knows he could be on the block. Jen teases her nominations by saying she knows the rest of the houseguests will be happy, which is funny, since the rest of the houseguests mostly just want Jen herself to be bounced. So all happiness will be relative. Jessica isn’t worried about being nominated.

Jen brings out the key box. Joe makes a pouty face as he awaits news. Jen says that she’s gone ahead with her plan to nominate people with negative energy. Joe really needs to stop wearing his ball cap sideways. Jameka’s key comes out first. Then Kail, Mike, Zach, Nick, Jessica, Amber, Dustin, Eric, and Joe. So that would leave Daniele and Evil Dick, father and daughter on the block together. Isn’t that cozy? Does Daniele really have that much negative energy? I mean, I get nominating Evil Dick, given the way that he’s acting, but I haven’t seen much from Daniele that would be considered “negative energy.” Unless Jen is blaming Daniele for being uncomfortable around her estranged dad, which would make Jen even more self-involved than we thought she was when the rest of the house was playing drinking games about how self-involved she was. Nick thinks Jen is just jealous of Daniele, because…well, you know. Eric apologizes for not getting Jessica nominated, which is pretty funny. We forgive you, Subservient Chicken.

Big Brother 8 - Episode 4 (”BFF-You”)

Previously, while I was busy not watching: Amber and Carol got nominated, Danielle declined to veto either of them, Jen revealed herself to be too stupid to live, and apparently God has a habit of meddling in Amber’s life in weird-ass ways.

Hey there, Julie Chen. “Good evening” to you as well. And your giant hair. Julie catches us up on what we may have missed so far, vis-à-vis the enemies twist, the nominees, et cetera. After Tuesday’s uneventful veto meeting, we see Carol and Amber diary room about what they think their chances are. Carol seems to be sticking by her strategy of appearing nonchalant while secretly appealing to her closest allies to rally her some support. It’s not an un-risky approach, but it does makes her seem less threatening. Amber, however, has at least Dick and Dustin in her corner, and she “currently” (God knows when that clip was taken from) she thinks she has the votes to stay. Carol’s working on the house, though, even going to far as to “apologize” to Jessica for being mean to her in junior high or whatever. Not that Jessica is in any way interested in keeping Carol around. Carol’s biggest allies seem to be Joe (who is falling back into old patterns by trying to bust up any and all friendships Dustin has, and he’s got one with Amber) and Zach (who thinks keeping Carol will be keeping his “lapdog” around).

Julie’s first round of Houseguest Chat sees her probe into the paired enemies. Jessica once again barely suppresses a giggle fit at the thought of Carol getting voted out, while Carol once again barely remembers which one Jessica is. Dick and Daniele both feel awkward, still. Joe and Dustin are both bitchy to each other, still. And Joe still can’t speak without sounding like he’s in his grade-school production of Annie. The guy lives his life like he’s a bad actor playing himself, it’s awful. Before the commercial, we see Joe, Dustin, Nick, Jen, and Jameka contemplate their votes, but no one’s vote is revealed, which generally adds up to “sweep.”

The “Better Know A Houseguest” segment this week focuses on Dick, who, as Julie tells us, was a “single father” raising Daniele and his son, Vincent, who he takes to strip clubs. According to Vincent, the Dick/Daniele estrangement goes back to her borrowing money, not being able to pay it back, and Dick handling the situation poorly. Dick’s mom tells us that Dick wasn’t really ready to be a father at 22 and other such things we probably already figured out about him. Vincent, unsurprisingly, just wants the family back together. Interestingly, both Daniele and Dick are shown confiding to Nick about how things are going. I had no idea Nick’s “Flirt and Destroy” strategy included Dick. Even with all the bi-curious rumors surrounding Nick, that would be pushing it.

Kail’s secret HoH interview is as dull and useless as any of those HoH interviews are, times three due to the fact of Kail’s pre-existing dullness and uselessness.

There’s a segment about Eric’s family and friends reacting to Eric being America’s Player. Eric’s brother and parents reveal what we already might have guessed: Eric is a Big Brother freak who’s watched all the seasons and knows it inside and out. The friends and fam are really not that psyched to find out Eric is America’s Player, mostly because they think it’s going to fuck up his strategy. They do acknowledge the bright side that the viewing audience is more likely to support him now, though fat lot of good that will do him if their decisions run him afoul of the house. In the Diary Room, Eric prepares to cast his America-provided vote for eviction. Before he does, he tells us the only reason to keep Carol around is that she’s weak; Amber, meanwhile, is someone he could end up forming a bond with. Lucky for Eric, America has directed him to vote out Carol. She’s so done, you guys.

The pre-eviction speeches feature Amber getting all teary and Carol getting ready to go say hello to Julie, because even she knows she’s going. And, indeed, by a 10-1 vote, Carol is evicted. That one vote, I’m guessing, came from Joe? This would be the danger of the “lie low” strategy, I suppose. Out on the couch with Julie, Carol is still reluctant to get into a whole catfighty thing about Jessica, so Julie shows a clip package featuring Jessica talking mad shit about Carol and essentially revealing herself to be the petty, squeaky-voiced asshole we’ve all grown to loathe. This being the equivalent of Julie firing her six-shooter at Carol’s feet, she starts to dance. She’s like, “Yeah, like I said, she’s spoiled and annoying and is still reliving high school.” Man, I really could have liked Carol if she’d stuck around. She gets sweet goodbye messages from Joe and Amber, along with a passive-aggressive one from Jessica (natch), and a strange one from Zach that says her heart was her weakness. My fear of being in the same house with Zach and his giant mouth of Billy Bob Thornton teeth would end up being my weakness, I think.

The HoH competition is the usual trivia quiz, this time the kind where your answer has to be the answer that the majority of the group chose or else you’re out. Zach is the only one who’d rather slather butter onto Jen than Daniele, so he’s out. So either Zach is very stupid or very unsubtle about throwing challenges, because: Jen? Jen who nobody likes? Dick, Daniele, and Nick are all eliminated when they say they’d forbid their little sister from dating Mike rather than Nick. Mmm hmm, that’s interesting. Nick doesn’t think anyone’s noticed what a man ho he’s been, while Daniele…hasn’t noticed what a man ho he’s been. Everyone says Joe would be more prone to cheating on his boyfriend than Dustin would. Cold comfort for Dustin the Clap-Giver, but that has to be a little gratifying. Jameka’s the only one who thinks Dick would hold on to a grudge longer than Daniele, so she’s out. Amber is deservedly eliminated for thinking Jessica would be better at cheering people up than Eric. Was that one of those things where God gave her the wrong answer to make her stronger? More people think Kail could spin $500,000 into $5 million than Zach, and you can see Kail tense up at the thought of people seeing through her attempts to disguise her secret life as a “multiple business owner.” Jessica and Mike are eliminated.

A question about Jameka or Amber helping an old lady cross the street is split down the middle, so Dustin, Eric, Jen, and Joe head for the tiebreaker question. Come on, Dustin or Eric! How many gallons of water does the giant spinning teacup hold. Oh my God, I am so incredibly terrible at questions like this. My initial guess is somewhere around 500. Of course, like everyone else, I don’t take into account that there’s a giant hole in the side of it so people can get on and off, so it’s something of a trick question. Which is fortunate for Jen, because her answer of 41 — which was by far the dumbest when you consider they were all clearly answering as if you could fill the entire teacup — is the closest to the actual capacity of nine gallons. So dumbass fucking Jen is the new HoH. Which on the one hand is interesting because who the hell knows who she’ll go after? But on the other hand, she’ll probably just end up going along with the plan of whoever the dominant voices in the house are, which I’m guessing will be the Mike/Zach/Nick troika. And they already had an HoH like that this week. Sigh. Seven days and it’s already boring.

Even though Eric didn’t win HoH, America still gets to vote for who they want Eric to “target” for elimination. Not sure what that ultimately obligates Eric to do, but I suppose we’ll see on Tuesday.

E3 Trailers

Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune

Infamous

Soulcalibur IV

Heavenly Sword

Wii Fit

Call of Duty 4

Ratchet and Clank Future: Tools of Destruction

Unreal Tournament 3

Metal Gear Solid 4

Killzone 2

Resident Evil 5

Simpsons

Project Gotham Racing 4

Bioshock

Halo 3

Halo Wars

Mass Effect

Viva Pinata: Party Animals

Lost Odyssey

Madden 08

NiGHTS: Journey of Dream

Haze

Soul Calibur Legends

Age of Conan

Call of Duty 4

Speedball 2

Stranglehold

Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix

Army of Two

Mario Strikers Charged

Orange Box

Rock Band

Super Mario Galaxy

Boogie

Crash of The Titans

Crysis

Donkey Kong Barrel Blast

Fire Emblem

Metroid 3: Corruption

Mysims

Skate

Timeshift

Guitar Hero III

Lair

Silent Hill Origins

Silent Hill 5

Medal of Honor Airborne

Pain

LittleBigPlanet

Enemy Territory Quake Wars

Brothers in Arms Hells Highway

Echochrome

Burnout Paradise

Fatal Inertia

NHL 08

Stuntman Ignition

Tony Hawks Proving Ground

Fracture

The Last Remnant

Dynasty Warriors Gundam

Spiderman: Friend or Foe

Mercenaries 2: World In Flames

Gears of War (PC)

Two Worlds

Too Human

The Bourne Conspiracy

NCAA 08

NBA 08

Frontlines Fuel of War

Eternal Sonata

Bee Movie Game

Beautiful Katamari

Assassins Creed

The Top 10 Things Learnt At E3 2007

1. It will be the best holiday ever.

…this is according to Microsoft honcho Peter Moore, but we’re not going to argue. The bulk of the games shown at E3 07 are due out within the next six months, including a dizzying array of triple-A blockbusters. No matter what console you own or plan on buying this holiday, there’s bound to be a game or five easily worth your Christmas bonus.

2. Sony fights back.

Sony made quite an impression with their quietly confident press conference. It was the favorite among those who also attended Microsoft and Nintendo’s briefings, and the positive reception has already helped turn back some of the backlash against Sony and the PS3.

While the other two hardware companies focused more on numbers and describing their influence, Sony unveiled several new games, like InFamous from Sly Cooper creators Sucker Punch and intriguing new PlayStation Network games like Echochrome and Everyday Shooter. Sony seems to realize that great games are the fasted way to legitimize the PS3, and steps have obviously been taken to deliver them.

In addition to obvious first-party exclusives (Gran Turismo, Heavenly Sword, Warhawk), Sony came out ahead of Microsoft and Nintendo with respect to third-party exclusivity. The company has made a deal with popular PC MMO company NCSoft (Guild Wars, City of Heroes) to create exclusive content for the PS3. Could we see Tabula Rasa or a brand new MMO property on the system soon? Unreal Tournament III will also make its console debut only on the PS3 (an Xbox 360 version will eventually follow) and for the time being Konami’s Metal Gear Solid 4 is also a Sony exclusive.

The only real letdown was the unveiling of the new PSP. Now, the new system is actually quite nice. It’s thinner, lighter and powered by a better battery than the original, though it lacks the one feature many hoped for: a second analog stick. But bundled with a game and 1GB memory stick for $199, the October release is a much better buy than the first generation handheld, and could provide crucial competition for Nintendo’s DS.

3. Nintendo keeps it casual.

Riding high on the runaway success of the Wii and the steady dominance of the DS, Nintendo came into the show with little left to prove. While Sony and Microsoft slugged it out over cutting-edge third-party exclusives, the company that Mario built is keeping its bright, cheery eyes on the prize: your mom’s wallet. Casual fare like Brain Age 2 and Flash Focus aim to make you a better person, not a better gamer, and the just-announced Check Mii Out Channel blends the social networking of Facebook with a somewhat unnerving Mii avatar version of “Hot or Not.”

But Nintendo biggest hopes rest on the scales of Wii Fit. Targeting the expanding waistlines of the expansive Wii audience could be the company’s shrewdest move yet, provided people are content working out when it isn’t dolled up in Dance Dance Revolution clothing. So long as obesity remains a hot-button issue, expect Wii Fit to remain a hot-button game.

Really the only disappointment from Nintendo’s camp was the limited showing of new software. While first-party behemoths like The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, Super Smash Bros. Brawl and Super Mario Galaxy are destined for success, all were already announced and shown at last year’s show. Mario Kart Wii is a nice addition, but what about more new games for that huge mascot roster? Starfox, Kirby, Luigi and Donkey Kong must be getting a little lonely warming the bench.

Still, E3 07 was another good for Nintendo. So long as they start getting some Wiis on (and then immediately off) retail shelves, consider it a safe bet that the beloved industry workhorse will continue its staggering ascent to the top of the pop culture mountain.

4. Microsoft lays low.

E3 07 started off on a very quiet note, thanks in large part to Microsoft’s unwillingness to divulge much new information about much of anything. Xbox 360 price drop? Nope. A fourth version of the console? Sorta, if you count the Halo 3 special edition, which you probably shouldn’t. We’re happy to hear about a few new games like Viva Pinata: Party Animals and the PC port of Gears of War, but that’s not exactly earth-shattering stuff. Suffice to say, Xbox fans who watched the press event on Xbox Live were left scratching their virtual heads.

However, look a little closer and you’ll see a platform entering its prime. Games like Mass Effect demonstrate a combination of depth, detail and polish simply not found on the other systems. Microsoft is gaining ground left and right, enjoying a growing user base and a flourishing online marketplace. Why show your cards in the middle of the game?

Because everyone’s dying to see what you’re holding, that’s why. The real losers are the fans of the system hoping to get a peek at the first-party future of their newly-warranteed rig, though they’re about to forget about that pain entirely when a certain first-person shooter washes the canvas clean in a few months. Maybe we’ll see more fight from Microsoft once they finish that one.

5. Potent portables.

With the introduction of a new PSP and Nintendo’s continued commitment to games on the go, the portable space is really heating up for the 2007 holiday season. Here are three games to watch from each platform.

Nintendo DS

The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass

Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings

Brain Age 2: More Training In Minutes A Day

Sony PSP

God of War: Chains of Olympus

Syphon Filter: Logan’s Shadow

Star Wars Battlefront: Renegade Squadron

6. Rock Band hits all the right notes.

We knew something big was coming when the stars aligned around EA, MTV and Guitar Hero developer Harmonix, but the result of their combined musical prowess, Rock Band, literally blew everything else off the stage. Sterile meeting rooms became sold out arenas as waves of journalists waited patiently to test their “metal” on the guitar, bass, vocals and - drum roll please - uh, drums. Without question, it was the talk of the show.

But the game itself is just the beginning of the jam. During the show EA announced heavy-metal powerhouse Metallica’s contribution of not only the seminal track “Enter Sandman,” but also access to a selection of other songs from the band’s lengthy catalog. Those will be distributed digitally alongside hundreds of other tracks.

And that’s not all. Fresh from his questionable death on The Sopranos, Little Stevie Van Zandt (otherwise known as Tony’s consigliore Sil) has signed on to chair the newly formed Rock Band Music Advisory Board, which will help guide the selection of weekly downloadable songs and, for the first time, full albums.

Will this groundbreaking partnership between industry giants pay off? If the incredibly fun, accessible gameplay is any indication, take our word for it and don’t stop believin’.

7. The PS3 comes home.

One of the main highlights of Sony’s showing this year was Home. Introduced in March at the Game Developer’s Conference, the online service is, in some ways, Sony’s way of combining The Sims and Xbox Live. Now in beta with many user suggestions and comments reflected weekly in updates, Home is becoming a very interesting take on the online social space.

The basics are simple: visualize your Home space through powerful graphics tools that build high-tech mountain retreats or serene Japanese structures for your digital avatar to occupy. It’s a 3D version of the basic online space Microsoft has dominated with Xbox live, and theoretically PS3 users will be able to interact not only with each other, but seamlessly with their digital worlds.

For instance, you can now gather friends together in your digital pad instead of an online game lobby to start a multiplayer session. Game titles can be launched directly from the Home interface. You can also access digital media like photos and video clips.

Another neat feature of Home is the ability to snap a photo with your cell phone and upload it directly to a virtual home environment. Unfortunately, you’ll have to have a compatible Sony Ericsson phone to do so, but in the future perhaps we’ll be able to download a client for other cell phones that will interact with Home.

It’s not such an outrageous idea. Phil Harrison (Sony’s head of worldwide game development) and Sony have obviously taken the popularity of MySpace and FaceBook to heart. With the option to create your own ’social networking’ web page based on your Home content they’re very keen on creating not only a virtual space for your PS3 games and media, but through which you could keep in touch with anyone via the web. It’s a much more ambitious project than Xbox Live. Now we just have to see if Sony can follow through, and if the masses take to more complex digital living.

8. Quirky is the new cool.

When we first saw the original Katamari Damacy at E3 several years ago, we knew immediately that it would have an effect on the American game market. In fact, the runaway (or is that rollaway?) success of the Katamari series and games like Loco Roco has created a whole ‘quirky’ subgenre. This year’s E3 sees the small but influential corner of gaming populated by many offbeat new titles hitting a variety of platforms.

Surprisingly, Sony’s PlayStation Network is the home for several of the standouts. We’ve loved LittleBigPlanet from the moment we first encountered it at GDC. Now that we’ve had a chance to play the irrepressibly cute and bouncy game, it’s obviously more than a physics showcase, and with the ability to endlessly customize characters and create worlds, it’s one of the coolest game building tools to arrive in a long time.

The PlayStation network will also host Echochrome, which looks like the old-school classic Lode Runner crossed with M.C. Escher’s art. You rotate worlds drawn in simple but attractive black and white lines to help a little hero navigate physically impossible puzzles. Everyday Shooter, meanwhile, is a brilliant mix of Geometry Wars style shooting, vibrant line art and music.

Dewey’s Adventure for the Wii may be a pretty obvious take on Sony’s Loco Roco, but it’s still fun, and offers a kid-friendly game space with a focus on an intrepid drop of water, which can be frozen, liquefied or changed into gas to navigate levels. If you want a more legit follow-up to the blobby PSP game, there’s Patapon (another PSP title) which in a short introductory video looks like Loco Roco infected with Worms gameplay. THQ brings the fascination with goo home in De Blob, which mixes Katamari Damacy gameplay with a coloring book — roll up colored characters then literally paint the town to restore vibrancy to a black and white world. Quirk has finally come full circle.

9. The end of Metal Gear?

We’ve heard it before. Hideo Kojima, the revered creator of Metal Gear, wants to finish the series, retire anti-hero Solid Snake and move on to other projects. Years ago we thought Snake Eater might be the last chapter, but in 2006 we were blasted with the trailer for Metal Gear Solid 4, with Kojima in full form.

The question for people who don’t follow the series is probably, ‘OK, it’s over. So what?’ But for the gaming universe, the end of Metal Gear is akin to Marvel Comics announcing that the X-Men are done. Not only because both are fiercely loved by a devoted fanbase. No, Metal Gear and X-Men have a kinship that go beyond fandom. Both have a wide roster of singularly strange and frightening characters, and both series are constructed on a series of labyrinthine plot lines that take a reference manual to decode.

The density of Metal Gear’s plot is what makes the potential final chapter so interesting. Kojima promised that Solid Snake’s story would end and that all secrets would be revealed, answering all of the many lingering questions. That means a story that effectively began over twenty years ago might finally be wrapped up, leaving an empty space for a new bizarre mythology to preoccupy gamers.

With efforts leaning more towards storytelling than gameplay innovation, Hideo Kojima has arguably been lapped by Ubisoft and Tom Clancy in the stealth department, but the end of the series would be a great time for Kojima to unleash a last masterstroke of stealth and action. We can’t wait to see what he comes up with.

10. And that’s not all, folks…

The best part of E3 is the secret part, the behind-closed doors, hush-hush looks at games that won’t be due out for at least a solid year. Sure, it’s a lot of hype, but if your pulse doesn’t quicken when you hear about these upcoming heavyweights, you might want to see a doctor. Keep an eye on:

Fallout 3

Resident Evil 5

Killzone 2

Starcraft II

Mario Kart Wii

LittleBigPlanet

The Agency

Infamous

Silent Hill 5

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

PS3 Price Drop Only Temporary

Could the welcomed $100 price cut for Sony’s PlayStation 3 be temporary? Reported comments from multiple Sony execs in online publications Gamesindustry.biz and Joystiq.com indicate so. The current PlayStation 3 model, which is equipped with a 60 GB hard drive, certainly has received a price cut to $499 and is available at that price right now - but Sony’s recent statements indicate that model is no longer in production.

If that’s accurate, once those sell out, which could take as little as 1-3 months, the only PlayStation 3 model that’s available will be the just-announced premium version. Going on sale in August and equipped with an 80 GB hard drive and racing game Motorstorm, it’ll set purchasers back $599. Barring further price cuts, holiday shoppers would potentially still be faced with a $600 PS3, although they’d be getting more for their money.

What about the PSP? Will it be phased out as well? Or receive its own price drop?

The newly designed PSP is going to replace the original PSP design starting in September with the $169.99 PSP Core Pack and the $199.99 Daxter PSP Entertainment Pack.

Microsoft (Xbox) Price Cut Rumours?

After Sony chopped $100 off the price of the PlayStation 3 over the weekend, numerous industry analysts are predicting Microsoft will make a similar move at its press conference later today. Expectations over just how much cheaper the Xbox 360 might become vary, but most commentators are predicting between a $50 and $100 drop across some or all of the Xbox retail packages.

Microsoft’s press conference kicks off at 8:30 PM PDT, so there isn’t too much longer to wait.

What you won’t see, though, are a few photos that were mysteriously removed from the page earlier today. Close-up pictures of the stage area during a rehearsal, they clearly showed four Xboxes arranged in a line: two white, one black (an Elite model) and one…grey? Could it be a new addition to the Xbox lineup: perhaps a new budget model, or the version with built-in internet TV functions that’s been discussed by Microsoft in the past? Maybe it’s just a trick of the light. We’ll find out all later on today — and we’ll have all the news here as soon as the conference wraps up.

SYTYCD - Hilary Duff performing “Stranger”

I’m posting a whole bunch of the same video, in case one of the videos dies:

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SYTYCD - Top 14 - Elimination

Check out my recap of the top 14 performance show, right here

*** Once again I am the first blogger on the scene of SYTYCD! **** 

Welcome back to So You Think You Can Dance, where yet another guy and girl will be leaving us tonight, to form our top 12! We’re getting very close to the top 10!

Their group dance is performed to the song “You Can’t Stop The Beat” from Hairspray (soundtrack)… Guess who choreographed it? Adam Shankman, who is the director/choreographer of Hairspray (and our guest judge this week)

Let’s begin… (note: from each group, there is one couple in the bottom 3)

The first two couples are Sabra & Dominic and Anya & Danny. Previously, I called Anya & Danny into the bottom 3, am I right? Absolutely. Nigel continues talking about how there’s something missing from them (and it’s not arrogance because, as Nigel explains, arrogance he associates with rudeness, which Danny apparently is not. Also, Adam took back his arrogant comment and said “You dance beautifully….”).

Next group of couples, we have three couples: Lacey & Kameron, Sara & Pasha and Shauna & Cedric. We find out, to no surprise, that Lacey & Kameron are safe. Is it Sara & Pasha or Shauna & Cedric in the bottom. Previously, I said that it would be Shauna & Cedric, and I sincerely hope that tonight is finally the night where Cedric leaves the competition. Will it be them? YES! They’re in the bottom 3. Right now, I’m 2 for 2 (I’m 100% correct in case you can’t understand).

The final two couples, are Jaimie & Hok and Lauren & Neil. I have to say that, last night, Lauren & Neil were the stronger couple (and Jaimie & Hok had some difficulties technically) but I wouldn’t be surprised if Jaimie & Hok were safe because I am aware that they have a lot of fans (Jaimie & Hok are also one of two couples who have never been in the bottom 3, Lacey & Kameron being the other). So will the couple that was the stonger one this week stay or will it be the one that has the more fans? Hok & Jaimie have been better than Lauren & Neil in the past few weeks in my opinion. If Jaimie & Hok are in the bottom, they’ll ace their solos. Previously, I chose Jaimie & Hok to be in the bottom, will it be so? Unfortunately, yes. WOW! I can’t believe I was right again (I GOT 3 FOR 3!!)

We get to see a clip of how our contestants got to go see it. Which means everyone go see it next week (July 20th to be exact)!!!

Anyways, back to the show…

Solos be happenin now man….

1) Anya — waaay better outfit choice than last week but I gotta say it really wasn’t that strong. The other two girls out-soloed her, if the judges are gonna eliminate based on the solos tonight, then Anya should be the one leaving. (song: Magic Carpet Ride by Mighty Dub Cats)

2) Danny — dancing without his shirt, as if sex appeal is the only way he’ll remain in the competition. Clearly, he feels that it’s his last resort because I really felt like his solo this weak was less about technique than it was looking good (because last week, he had an amazing solo). Maybe he thinks “well, I showed them my technical skills last week, there’s no reason for me to do it again.” It was not that amazing a solo but he’ll probably stay. (song: Delirious by Mario Spinetti)

3) Shauna — a pretty strong contemporary routine, I think she gave us a fair idea of her skill, which is pretty good. It’s one of the better female solos tonight. (song: Zombie by The Cranberries)

4) Cedric — I’m not going to write much about Cedric, except say that he did his thing (which I still don’t like) and he didn’t change my opinion about him. Mary said that she’d save him this week, if she does, I just might scream!!! (song: Circus by Kelis)

5) Jaimie — A nice contemporary routine, which I think was mainly for showing off her extensions (which the judges praise pretty much every week). One of the better female solos tonight. (song: Childhood Dreams by Nelly Furtado)

6) Hok — We all now about Hok’s massive breakin’ skills so he decided to mix a bit of that with lots of entertainment value. As we’ve been told many times, it’s important to be entertaining as well as technically correct. A nice solo overall. I’m quite sure Hok’ll be staying and I like it the best. (song: Ease On Down The Road from The Wiz (soundtrack) )

The solos are over, time for the judges to decide who’ll be leaving. Which means it’s time for Hilary Duff to perform. Strangely, it’s some kind of bellydance-type thing. Anyways, this gives me time to continue writing about the solos.

Nigel tells us that they were unanimous on the guy and the girl. And they’re not going to base their decisions on just the solos tonight, but everything.

The girls are first, and Jaimie is safe. Nigel tells Anya that her solos have been consistently weak but for some reason they save her. The reason that SHAUNA is going to be eliminated tonight, even though I was sure she had the strongest solo, was because they didn’t feel she’d grown enough and her personality something-or-other and all that garbage. The reason really is because the judges refuse to eliminate Anya & Danny for some reason.

The guys are up, and Nigel just comes right out and says that CEDRIC is leaving tonight.

So no new couples next week, and I’ll be here next week to give you the recap.

As always, your comments are greatly welcomed!

E3 - Day Two (cont.): Sony

Could Sony have been in a weaker position going into E3? Lacking in excitement, floundering in the charts and on the back foot after a rushed price cut announcement, all was not well in the PlayStation 3 camp, and the less said about the underperforming PSP, the better. But following today’s surprisingly strong press conference, where Sony detailed its lineup of games for both platforms in detail, it’s become much easier to be optimistic about the PS3’s future. Read on for all the details.

First out of the gate was Sony’s widely predicted redesign of the PSP hardware. Now 19% slimmer, 33% lighter and with improved battery life and faster loading times, the redesign doesn’t change the ergonomics of the machine too much, but no doubt the reduced size will improve its portability. For when you’re at home, the new machine includes a video-out port, so you can play your PSP games (or movies) on your big screen. It’ll go on sale later this year.

Somewhat bizarrely, Sony’s next guest was Star Wars stalwart Chewbacca, who strode on stage clutching a slimline PSP which bore a natty white finish and a portrait of Darth Vader on the back. It’ll go on sale alongside the standard black model, packaged with a copy of the PSP exclusive Battlefront: Renegade Squadron. Sony also announced an Ice White PSP model, which will sell as part of a $199.99 Entertainment Pack together with a 1 GB memory stick, hit game Daxter, and a set of Family Guy episodes on UMD.

Next up was one of the conference’s new announcements: a minimalist puzzle game called Echochrome. Presented in a simple black-and-white wireframe, it depicts a small artists’ modeling figure walking across a complex wireframe object which the player can rotate through three dimensions to keep him heading in the right direction. Crisp and graceful, it’ll be available on PS3 through the PlayStation Network and on the PSP via a conventional, in-store release by next March.

More announcements followed, the first of which (in “eye-blistering” 1080p resolution and at 60 frames per second) is the next in the Wipeout series of futuristic racers, Wipeout HD. An all-new game follows: called Pain, it was just shown as a trailer, but seemed to consist of flipping a poor unfortunate man into a variety of realistically rendered, physically accurate painful collisions with assorted road-going vehicles. Sold.

Sony exec Phil Harrison followed up the videos with a look at the latest developments to Sony’s PlayStation 3 online social world, Home. Harrison snaps a picture of the crowd with his cellphone, then uploads it to his space in Home, where it appears, framed, on the wall. Next, he snaps another picture of his Home avatar standing next to the crowd shot, and sends that to a new social networking website Sony will launch with Home. It’s an impressively seamless system.

Always a crowd-pleaser, Sony’s next big unveiling is a new trailer for stealth action game Metal Gear Solid IV. Series creator Hideo Kojima introduced the trailer himself, and took the opportunity to let the crowd know that not only would this be the last outing for series star Snake, but also the last Metal Gear game that will boast his involvement. “All the story plot, the characters, the mysteries, will be revealed,” he said, and segued into a superb trailer that first depicted Snake - voiced, as always, by David Hayter - slinking through a bustling military depot. It was followed by a stunningly epic hand-to-hand battle between MGS icon Raiden and an unknown (but totally badass) foe.

That wasn’t the only impressive trailer Sony had to show. The rapt crowd was also treated to new footage of Heavenly Sword, Folklore, social platformer LittleBigPlanet (showing a brief glimpse of the game’s intuitive level creation facilities) and Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, NaughtyDog’s detailed third-person action title.

The great games kept coming. Next, a new announcement: Infamous, from Sly Cooper developer Suckerpunch, in which you “choose your path between superhero and antihero”. Looked like Crackdown to us, but with an ultrarealistic, contemporary look and hints of a far, far darker plot.

From Infamous, Sony moved onto another, more famous name: the next in the Gran Turismo series. Called Gran Turismo 5: Prologue, it’ll release as a download ahead of GT5’s full release, and it’s looking gorgeous.

Finally, Harrison showed off new Killzone 2 footage, introducing it with an assurance that everything shown was real-time gameplay footage. (Sony took considerable criticism after Killzone 2 footage shown at last year’s E3, purported to be in-game scenes, turned out to be pre-generated canned renders.) If this is how Killzone 2 is really going to look, sign us up.

Could Sony’s E3 kickoff have gone any better? It’s hard to see how: only the rumored new rumble-equipped controller failed to make a showing, and the portfolio of PS3 games on show were world-class. At least on the evidence of today’s performance, Sony’s back in the race.

E3 - Day Two: Nintendo

This morning’s Nintendo press conference in Santa Monica, CA served to underline what we all knew about the Wii: it’s setting its sights firmly on expanding the appeal of video games to older people and women, and it’s lining up a portfolio of cool new toys to help it achieve just that. Chief among them, and unveiled today by Nintendo of America president Reggie Fils-Aime, is a novel Balance Board controller together with a purpose-designed fitness game that aim to help Wii owners lose weight.

Nintendo’s Balance Board, a slim, wireless white pad that looks more like a set of bathroom scales than a conventional videogame controller, does more than just measure your weight (although it does that, too). It can detect the exact position of your body’s center of gravity, and measure how it shifts as you move your limbs or lean.

How’s that going to help you shed the pounds? Wii Fit, a new Nintendo title that’ll ship with the Balance Board, tracks your body mass index over time, and offers over 40 minigames that look guaranteed to get you sweating. Fils-Aime showed the Balance Board being used for yoga, step aerobics, balance training, and raw strength exercises like push-ups. No release date was mentioned, but it’s sure to sell like hotcakes — and you thought the Wii was hard to find right now.

Fils-Aime also showed off a brace of Wii remote attachments that’ll be bundled into games releasing later this year. One, the Wii Zapper, turns your Wii remote and nunchuk into a lightgun-like controller, and will release with zombie shooter Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles - while the other, a small plastic wheel, will launch along with Mario Kart Wii.

Hang on, what was that? Yes, in a move sure to put smiles on the faces of longtime Nintendo fans, the Mario Kart series is coming to the Wii. Only shown in video form, it’s scheduled to release in the first quarter of next year, but will include online play with an as-yet undisclosed (but presumably large) number of simultaneous players. “This is not your father’s Mario Kart,” Fils-Aime said.

In another move that’ll please Wii owners looking for a deeper online experience, Nintendo announced the Wii version of Medal of Honor will include an online mode supporting up to 32 players. It’ll support the newly-announced Wii Zapper, too.

On Nintendo’s portable DS - the most popular video game system on the planet, Fils-Aime says - the conference brought fresh insight into the touchscreen controls of Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. You’ll be able to draw on the screen to indicate a path for your weapons, or stretch out a line with the stylus to create tightropes and drag objects closer to you.

Fils-Aime also confirmed Nintendo big hitters Super Mario Galaxy and Super Smash Bros. Brawl will both launch this year, on November 12 and December 3 respectively, and demonstrated Metroid Prime 3’s controls - which, incidentally, doesn’t look to be using the Wii Zapper.

Nintendo’s conference ended with Fils-Aime and star Nintendo game designer Shigeru Miyamoto facing off in Wii Fit, playing head-to-head in a soccer ball heading tournament. Thanks to the balance-sensitive pad, just leaning left or right is enough to line up and head the ball. (Fils-Aime won handily, by the way.) We’re lead to wonder how well the Balance Board would work in a skateboarding or snowboarding game. Whether or not Wii Fit can capture the imagination of the vast contingent of Nintendo fans remains to be seen, but it’s absolutely perfect for the rapidly burgeoning fitness game market.