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Big Brother 8 – Episode 4 (“BFF-You”)

Posted by g3tech on July 16, 2007

Previously, while I was busy not watching: Amber and Carol got nominated, Danielle declined to veto either of them, Jen revealed herself to be too stupid to live, and apparently God has a habit of meddling in Amber’s life in weird-ass ways.

Hey there, Julie Chen. “Good evening” to you as well. And your giant hair. Julie catches us up on what we may have missed so far, vis-à-vis the enemies twist, the nominees, et cetera. After Tuesday’s uneventful veto meeting, we see Carol and Amber diary room about what they think their chances are. Carol seems to be sticking by her strategy of appearing nonchalant while secretly appealing to her closest allies to rally her some support. It’s not an un-risky approach, but it does makes her seem less threatening. Amber, however, has at least Dick and Dustin in her corner, and she “currently” (God knows when that clip was taken from) she thinks she has the votes to stay. Carol’s working on the house, though, even going to far as to “apologize” to Jessica for being mean to her in junior high or whatever. Not that Jessica is in any way interested in keeping Carol around. Carol’s biggest allies seem to be Joe (who is falling back into old patterns by trying to bust up any and all friendships Dustin has, and he’s got one with Amber) and Zach (who thinks keeping Carol will be keeping his “lapdog” around).

Julie’s first round of Houseguest Chat sees her probe into the paired enemies. Jessica once again barely suppresses a giggle fit at the thought of Carol getting voted out, while Carol once again barely remembers which one Jessica is. Dick and Daniele both feel awkward, still. Joe and Dustin are both bitchy to each other, still. And Joe still can’t speak without sounding like he’s in his grade-school production of Annie. The guy lives his life like he’s a bad actor playing himself, it’s awful. Before the commercial, we see Joe, Dustin, Nick, Jen, and Jameka contemplate their votes, but no one’s vote is revealed, which generally adds up to “sweep.”

The “Better Know A Houseguest” segment this week focuses on Dick, who, as Julie tells us, was a “single father” raising Daniele and his son, Vincent, who he takes to strip clubs. According to Vincent, the Dick/Daniele estrangement goes back to her borrowing money, not being able to pay it back, and Dick handling the situation poorly. Dick’s mom tells us that Dick wasn’t really ready to be a father at 22 and other such things we probably already figured out about him. Vincent, unsurprisingly, just wants the family back together. Interestingly, both Daniele and Dick are shown confiding to Nick about how things are going. I had no idea Nick’s “Flirt and Destroy” strategy included Dick. Even with all the bi-curious rumors surrounding Nick, that would be pushing it.

Kail’s secret HoH interview is as dull and useless as any of those HoH interviews are, times three due to the fact of Kail’s pre-existing dullness and uselessness.

There’s a segment about Eric’s family and friends reacting to Eric being America’s Player. Eric’s brother and parents reveal what we already might have guessed: Eric is a Big Brother freak who’s watched all the seasons and knows it inside and out. The friends and fam are really not that psyched to find out Eric is America’s Player, mostly because they think it’s going to fuck up his strategy. They do acknowledge the bright side that the viewing audience is more likely to support him now, though fat lot of good that will do him if their decisions run him afoul of the house. In the Diary Room, Eric prepares to cast his America-provided vote for eviction. Before he does, he tells us the only reason to keep Carol around is that she’s weak; Amber, meanwhile, is someone he could end up forming a bond with. Lucky for Eric, America has directed him to vote out Carol. She’s so done, you guys.

The pre-eviction speeches feature Amber getting all teary and Carol getting ready to go say hello to Julie, because even she knows she’s going. And, indeed, by a 10-1 vote, Carol is evicted. That one vote, I’m guessing, came from Joe? This would be the danger of the “lie low” strategy, I suppose. Out on the couch with Julie, Carol is still reluctant to get into a whole catfighty thing about Jessica, so Julie shows a clip package featuring Jessica talking mad shit about Carol and essentially revealing herself to be the petty, squeaky-voiced asshole we’ve all grown to loathe. This being the equivalent of Julie firing her six-shooter at Carol’s feet, she starts to dance. She’s like, “Yeah, like I said, she’s spoiled and annoying and is still reliving high school.” Man, I really could have liked Carol if she’d stuck around. She gets sweet goodbye messages from Joe and Amber, along with a passive-aggressive one from Jessica (natch), and a strange one from Zach that says her heart was her weakness. My fear of being in the same house with Zach and his giant mouth of Billy Bob Thornton teeth would end up being my weakness, I think.

The HoH competition is the usual trivia quiz, this time the kind where your answer has to be the answer that the majority of the group chose or else you’re out. Zach is the only one who’d rather slather butter onto Jen than Daniele, so he’s out. So either Zach is very stupid or very unsubtle about throwing challenges, because: Jen? Jen who nobody likes? Dick, Daniele, and Nick are all eliminated when they say they’d forbid their little sister from dating Mike rather than Nick. Mmm hmm, that’s interesting. Nick doesn’t think anyone’s noticed what a man ho he’s been, while Daniele…hasn’t noticed what a man ho he’s been. Everyone says Joe would be more prone to cheating on his boyfriend than Dustin would. Cold comfort for Dustin the Clap-Giver, but that has to be a little gratifying. Jameka’s the only one who thinks Dick would hold on to a grudge longer than Daniele, so she’s out. Amber is deservedly eliminated for thinking Jessica would be better at cheering people up than Eric. Was that one of those things where God gave her the wrong answer to make her stronger? More people think Kail could spin $500,000 into $5 million than Zach, and you can see Kail tense up at the thought of people seeing through her attempts to disguise her secret life as a “multiple business owner.” Jessica and Mike are eliminated.

A question about Jameka or Amber helping an old lady cross the street is split down the middle, so Dustin, Eric, Jen, and Joe head for the tiebreaker question. Come on, Dustin or Eric! How many gallons of water does the giant spinning teacup hold. Oh my God, I am so incredibly terrible at questions like this. My initial guess is somewhere around 500. Of course, like everyone else, I don’t take into account that there’s a giant hole in the side of it so people can get on and off, so it’s something of a trick question. Which is fortunate for Jen, because her answer of 41 — which was by far the dumbest when you consider they were all clearly answering as if you could fill the entire teacup — is the closest to the actual capacity of nine gallons. So dumbass fucking Jen is the new HoH. Which on the one hand is interesting because who the hell knows who she’ll go after? But on the other hand, she’ll probably just end up going along with the plan of whoever the dominant voices in the house are, which I’m guessing will be the Mike/Zach/Nick troika. And they already had an HoH like that this week. Sigh. Seven days and it’s already boring.

Even though Eric didn’t win HoH, America still gets to vote for who they want Eric to “target” for elimination. Not sure what that ultimately obligates Eric to do, but I suppose we’ll see on Tuesday.


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