Big Brother 8 – Episode 3 (“Jeneration X”)

After the nominations of Amber and Carol, Kail and Mike hole up in the HoH room while she congratulates herself on not pissing anybody off and getting off “scotch-free.” Amber, meanwhile, has herself a meltdown, claiming that she would never have nominated a fellow mother as Kail had the temerity to do. Presumbly Dick would have been on his own. Then, later, she gets hold of herself and thanks God for using the nomination to make her stronger. Um, God? It’s not working.

Carol, meanwhile, is adopting the opposite strategy of appearing nonchalant about being on the block. Jessica’s not convinced, and is only too happy to hope the rest of the house takes Carol at her word and votes her out. Meanwhile, Carol starts quietly campaigning to Zach, unaware that he’s part of the alliance that put her up in the first place. Carol and Jessica are pretty much just trying to beat each other at this point.

Out in the yard, Dick talks to Kail about how he bonded with his son during the boy’s twenty-first birthday party at a Vegas strip club. Aww, how sweet. Despite the anti-Norman Rockwell imagery, he’s cultivating the parent-bond with Kail much better than is Amber, who seems to be going about it by crying all the time.

There’s a bit where Nick lifts weights and everyone’s impressed with him, except for Jen, who claims she doesn’t like muscles. Of course, Jen is lying throughout this entire paragraph, up to and including her uses of the word “I.” For our benefit, Nick works through his list of flirtees, including Danielle, Amber, “Jenius” (as Jen’s current tank top dubs her), and Carol. Not so much Joe, though. Not wanting to be left out of the intrigue, however, Joe hears Jen telling the others that Nick tried to make out with her, and goes straight to Nick with it. Nick comes right out and confronts Jen, calling her a liar. “Jen lives in her own little Jen world that is Jenuinely in-freaking-sane!” Joe DRs. Jen sticks to her story, not caring that nobody believes her. The crazy thing is that I think she actually believes it herself.

At least until the commercials are over. At which point Jen takes Nick aside and apologizes, blaming her behavior on her jealousy over Nick’s earlier cuddling with Danielle. Nick pretends to be over it, although Jen pushes too hard when she “jokes” about Nick trying to kiss her “again” later. Don’t walk around with your eyes closed waiting for it, honey. Later, Nick recounts the tale to Joe, Amber, and Dick, who are “so over Jen” and her other shirts that say things like “Jenth Degree” and “Jensa Member.” So it’s a perfect opportunity for Amber to approach Kail about what Kail should do if one of the nominees wins the veto. Kail’s open to suggestions, because like all chess grandmasters, she’s always thinking about her current move. She’s happy to accept Jen as an alternate, because hey, it beats thinkin’.

Later, Kail shows how much she sucks at this game by telling Mike that, of the two nominees, Carol is the one more likely to hold it against Kail if she stays. Mike suggests Danielle as an alternate, but Kail doesn’t want to piss off Dick. So Mike suggests Joe in her place, but gets on board when Kail suggests Jen.

Amber prays to God to make her strong and help her win the power of veto, while the music guys buck her up with some inspirational music straight out of a Michael Bay film. Those people crack me up.

Kail calls everyone together to select the players for the Power of Veto competition. The HoH, the two nominees, and three randomly drawn players will compete for the opportunity to take one of the nominees off the block. “The only person I didn’t want to be picked was Jen,” Carol DRs, which makes me amazed that Jen doesn’t get drawn. Kail draws “Houseguest’s Choice,” and picks Danielle in order to keep her “alliance” under wraps. Behold the puppetmaster. Amber picks Jameka, and Carol picks Nick. Nick DRs that he wants to win so that he can keep the same nominees. And then Kail selects a host to explain the game and call the action for those of s at home: Jessica, the only person in the house with a voice more grating than Kail’s.

The non-players hang out in the HoH room, where Jen realizes she’s the only girl in there. That’s pretty much all she had to say. Thanks for that incisive observation.

Jessica explains this week’s PoV competition, which is a kind of “hide and seek.” In this case, each player takes a little red-and-black veto icon, and then they take turns each hiding theirs inside the house. Danielle goes first, and goes on about how competitive she is and how much she has to prove, whereupon she hides it in the slop bucket in he fridge. It will never be seen again. Carol hides hers in Dick’s sheets, on the theory that nobody will want to touch them. Amber sticks hers in a pillowcase. Nick crams his under the mattress of one of the tiny beds. Kail hides hers under the teabags. And Jameka hides hers in her hair bag, with her extensions. She wants you all to know that the hair on her head is really hers, though.

Then they all have to go in the house, one at a time, to search for someone else’s veto. Danielle goes first, and despite the fact that she sticks to the kitchen, where she hid hers, she goes right past Kail’s veto hidden in the teabags. Meanwhile, Jen’s driving everyone in the HoH room crazy, just by being Jenerally irritating.

Carol finds Amber’s veto in the pillowcase, so Amber’s already lost. But she doesn’t know that, so she still has to search, and finds nothing. We don’t see which one Nick finds, but he tells us how “considerate” he was during the search. Kail, by contrast, ransacks the place, because her stuff is in the HoH room, so who cares? For someone whose entire strategy thus far has been trying not to piss everyone off, she seems to be having trouble sustaining it.

Meanwhile, in the HoH room, Dick is getting pissed off at Jen for her behavior during the butter challenge. And for being Jen.

Jameka finds the veto hidden in Dick’s bed, and that’s everyone having had a chance to search. But there are still two missing vetoes, so everyone gets to go back in again, one at a time. Kail goes even further than before, treating the house like the Who used to treat hotel rooms. This offends Jameka so much during her second search that she wastes some of her time putting her dirty clothes back in her bag. Danielle finds one of the two missing vetoes: “For some reason, [the box of teabags] was the only thing that still had something left in it.” Nice move, Kail, trashing the entire house except for your hiding place. Anyway, five vetoes have been found. Game over.

Everyone else is horrified when they come out of the HoH room and see that the house looks like its been turned upside down and shaken vigorously. Not that there will be any repercussions of any kind, at least that we see tonight. They join the competitors in the yard. In order, the found vetoes belonged to Amber, Nick, Carol, Jameka, and of course — as much as they try to suspense it up — Kail. So Danielle has the first Power of Veto.

Dick DRs that he’s proud of Danielle, and Amber immediately goes to work on her to put up Jen instead. Danielle is not any more a fan of Jen than anyone else is. Let’s hope Amber remembers to thank God for making Jen such an asshole.

Eric, America’s Player, goes into the DR to read his assignment for the week. Eric’s pretty glad to hear that all he has to do is make up a traumatic story to tell to Kail. Because that’s whom America “voted” to see him lie to. “This is going to be a cakewalk,” he tells us. No argument here. Eric asks Kail to meet him up in the HoH room, and prepares himself by squirting some of every kind of contact lens solution he owns into his eyes before heading up. Kail doesn’t just take the bait; she’s ravenous for it, saying she knows something’s been bothering Eric. “I could tell yesterday. You were quiet,” she says perceptively. Eric’s story is about a girlfriend of his in high school whom Danielle reminds him of, and who had an eating disorder. Kail figures that Erik has been deeply affected by seeing Danielle put on slop. Still, Eric can’t stand how easy this is, so we’re treated to a whole bravura weepy montage of him going on and on to Kail about his skinny girlfriend, blah blah blah, complete with a sad cello and everything. Poor dumb Kail tells us in the DR that “Eric is a very sensitive guy…He cares too much.” Eric returns to the Diary Room and, over a little graphic of the words “TASK COMPLETED” next to a checked box, he says he looks forward to working with us in the future. Okay, except that wasn’t work.

And now we’re back with Dustin and Joe, a storyline I had completely forgotten to miss. Dustin asks for Joe’s respect. Joe says he’s trying, but that Dustin is his “arch-nemesis” and all, and having him here kind of screws things up for him. Dustin says that he’s in the same situation, and it’s clear that Joe has literally never thought about that. He adds that this gives them a chance to work things out. He says something heartfelt about Joe’s family, which Joe appreciates, and then DRs to us that it’s to his advantage to keep things civil with Joe. Okay, back to the back burner with you two!

Out in the hammock, Joe, Nick, and Danielle talk about getting rid of Jen. “I should use the veto tomorrow,” Danielle muses.

At the next day’s veto ceremony, Danielle stands before the photo wall and appears to think in voice-over. She calls it a stressful decision. She says that if she vetoes Carol, it could be to her advantage to keep her around. Whereas Amber could be risky to keep around. Kail says she hopes Danielle doesn’t change her nominations, and says she would have to “contain herself” if Danielle vetoes someone. Danielle calls the meeting, and gives each of the nominees a chance to defend herself. “I’m not ready to go home yet” is Carol’s entire argument. Amber says that she’s had “an amazing journey” and the “relationships with everybody.” Danielle turns attention back to herself, saying she’s happy to be the first veto winner. She says she’s been thinking about how to shake up the house, and she’s going to do that by…wait for it…not using the PoV.

Danielle DRs that she left the PoV in the box because it’s too early to be shaking things up that don’t need to be shaken up yet. Amber interviews that she’s “by far the most determined and focused person in the house.” She wants to walk out the door with her head held high and her family waiting for her. And the longer they have to wait, apparently, the better. Carol also claims she’s a strong competitor and will not give up. Jessica tells the DR, “Bye Carol! See you at the high-school reunion in ten years.”

And then the America’s Player thing gets a little more interesting, because we get to pick who Eric votes on for elimination. Something that actually affects the game? It’s almost like Season 1. We’ll see who gets eliminated on Thursday. Or rather, you will, because your regular weecappers will return. I’m so glad to see you guys!